I am somebody who will totally make you forget to feed your cat, brush your teeth, and/or pay your bills from all the time you spend with me. If you are here to make me miserable, I've got two steel-toe boots that are more than happy to kick your sorry ass out the door. If you're here to make me happy, then I am here to make you happy. Come on in, take a load off (not to mention your pants!), and fap or schlick depending on what's between your legs. Go ahead and help yourself to the free Dr. Pepper in the fridge when you're done. But don't forget to clean up your mess. I love you, but I'm not the damn maid. Enjoy your time in my gallery, and don't forget to fave my pics and watch me if you like what you see. There's always more on the way and even more planned for what isn't yet on the queue.
Sex: Male (I'm not a girl IRL, not even a MtF trans one. So don't even ask) Race: Caucasian (I'm white) Relationship Status: Taken Species: Giraffe Age: 30 Sexual Preference: Bisexual (female preference)
About my interests: Favorite Live-Action Shows:Saturday Night Live, House, M.D., Kitchen Nightmares, Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, Ghost Adventures, Dinosaurs Favorite Movies:The Secret of Kells, Coraline, Clerks and Clerks II, Terminator II: Judgement Day, Robocop, Aliens, Predator, Back To The Future Parts I, II, and III, The Warriors, The Wrestler, The Toxic Avenger, UHF, Wreck-It Ralph, Killer Klowns From Outer Space Favorite Cartoons:The Mighty B!, The Replacements, Pearlie, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Jimmy Two-Shoes, Kid Vs. Kat, Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil, What About Mimi?, The Ren & Stimpy Show, Rocko's Modern Life, El Tigre, Adventure Time, The Critic, pre-Disney Doug, Rugrats (not All Grown Up), My Life As A Teenage Robot, Rated A For Awesome, Sidekick, Phineas And Ferb, Wild Kratts, Little Einsteins, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, The Life And Times of Juniper Lee, Gravity Falls, Doc McStuffins, Jake & The Never Land Pirates, Gawayn, Matt's Monsters, Fillmore!, Little Princess, Sabrina: The Animated Series, Will & Dewitt, Mona The Vampire, Mummies Alive!, Extreme Ghostbusters, Shezow, Angelo Rules, The Weekenders, The Amazing World of Gumball, Eliot Kid, Justin Time, Tiny Toon Adventures, Freakazoid!, Animaniacs, Sofia The First, Steven Universe, Bee and Puppycat, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, Sonic Boom, The Loud House Favorite Anime:Dr. Slump, Girls Bravo, Cowboy Bebop, FLCL, Digimon (01, 02, and 03), Trigun, Sailor Moon R, Pokemon: Indigo League Favorite Web Shows/Personalities: AVGN/Cinemassacre, Game Grumps, Egoraptor, Danny Sexbang (and all of Ninja Sex Party), Commander Holly, Jonathan Gran and Danielle Kogan, JonTron (old Jon, not the current one), Peanut Butter Gamer, Continue?, MEGA64, Max Gilardi (Braindump, PONY. MOV, WGJ4K, etc), Phelous, Obsurus Lupa, The Cinema Snob, Wreckless Eating, Pat The NES Punk/Completely Uneccesary Podcast, Lee Hardcastle, Did You Know Gaming?, The Bedfellows, Caddicarus, Lazy Game Reviews, PushingUpRoses, Planet Dolan, Brentalfloss, Cinema Sins, Glove and Boots, Guru Larry, Ashens, Harry Partridge, Rhett and Link, Nathan Barnatt/Keith Apicary, Restupurae, Silvermania, LittleKuriboh, Beta64, Glenn Plant's N64 Reviews, Vinesauce (Vinny, Joel, and Rev), YourMovieSucksdotorg, Console Wars, Cri1TiKaL, Huggbees, Brian Zane Favorite Webcomics: Penny Arcade, Prequel, Moonstuck, Ask Jappleack, Ask Princess Molestia (R.I.P.), The Bedfellows (R.I.P.), Guardia: The Tales of Halgeis, Pusheen The Cat Favorite Foods: Hot wings, BBQ chicken pizza, white rice with soy sauce, tacos, burritos, quesadillas, chili, potato chips, Double Stuf Oreos, jerky (beef, bacon, turkey, chicken; nothing exotic), Doritos, cheesecake, donuts, most candies, Nutella (<3 this stuff!), French fries Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drinks: Anything by Arizona, Dr. Pepper, Coke/Pepsi, Cherry Coke/Pepsi, Chocolate Milk, Strawberry Milk, Welch's fruit juices, Sprite, Black cherry soda, Root beer/sarsaparilla (more or less the same thing), Mountain Dew KickStart Coconut Water, Crystal Pepsi, Jones Soda Favorite Alcoholic Drinks: Anything by Mike's or Smirnoff Ice, Long Island Iced Tea, Electric Lemonade, Mudslide, Dos Equis (Amber or Lager), Coors Light, Magic Hat Pale Ale, Guinness Draught and Extra Stout (My absolute favorites <3333), Redd's Apple Ale, Angry Orchard Hard Cider, Hoegarrden, Hard Root Beer (yum) Favorite Wrestlers: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Undertaker, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Mick Foley, Sheamus, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, CM Punk, Brodus Clay, Awesome Kong (Kharma), Daniel Bryan Favorite Video Games:Fallout series, The Elder Scrolls series, DOOM series, Quake series, Saints Row series, Final Fight series, Metal Gear Solid series, Max Payne trilogy, You Don't Know Jack series and associated JackBox games, Left 4 Dead 2, Half-Life 1 & 2, Dynasty Warriors/Shin Sangoku Musou series, Rollercoaster Tycoon series (not World!), Diablo trilogy, The Sims 1, 2, and 3, Starbound, Postal 2 Favorite Video Game Systems: All Playstation consoles, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, SNES, Nintendo 64, Nintendo DS/3DS, iOS, PC Favorite Music Genres: Anything that's not ear-rape or weapons-grade noise pollution.